Sleeping Booty, a fractured fairytale
by kirayasha aka kira
Summary: A beautiful young prince pricks his finger on a spindle and falls asleep only to be awaken by his one true love…


Title: Sleeping Booty, a fractured fairytale  
Author: kira  
Rating: Adult (more like older teen)  
Characters: Bankotsu, Jakotsu, Sesshomaru, Inuyasha, Kouga, Ginta, Hakaku, Naraku, Miroku, Sango  
Genre: crack!humor, romance  
Words: 1885  
Summary: A beautiful young prince pricks his finger on a spindle and falls asleep only to be awaken by his one true love…  
Warnings: none...

Author's note: Thanks go out to my beta, Jen, for polishing this for me and giving me the title which inspired this nonsense…

_Happy first year anniversary, iyhedonism!!_

888

Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a king and his queen. While they loved each very much, they never seemed to be blessed with any children until finally one day good fortune smiled on them. The kingdom was happy when it learned that the queen was expecting and preparations were made for the child's christening. For most of the kingdom the nine months sped by in what felt like a heartbeat. Everyone in the realm was ecstatic when the queen finally gave birth and the invitations were sent out. Everyone in the kingdom was invited, including the fairy queens that lived in the woods…

The day of christening arrived, and the festivities were in full swing when the forest fairy queens arrived. Fairy Drag-queen Sesshomaru was the first to sashay into the castle's main ballroom. He minced over to the tiny bassinette, and waving his magic wand, he said, "I bless this sweet lil girl with great fashion sense and style. May she always set trends wherever she goes!" He stepped back, smiling, and checked the corner of his lip for lipstick smudges with his pinkie.

King Miroku looked over anxiously at his wife, Queen Sango. "Doesn't he know our child is a boy?" he asked.

Queen Sango looked over at the fairy queen and smiled. Turning back to her husband, she whispered, "You have to admit, Prince Jakotsu is rather cute and with all those curls, it's an honest mistake."

"You're right, my dear."

Just then Fairy Drag-queen Kouga pranced into the ballroom. He pirouetted gracefully, before leaping over to the bassinette. Landing so gracefully that Fairy Drag-queen Sesshomaru wiped away a tear; pulling out his magic wand, he blessed the prince. "I gift this lil darling with grace and beauty."

The King and Queen looked at each and smiled weakly especially when his "ladies-in-waiting" the twin Fairy Drag-queens, Ginta and Hakaku waltzed in and blessed their son with a beautiful singing voice and a perfect figure so that she could win "Kingdom Idol."

The next to appear was Fairy Drag-queen Inuyasha. Walking as fast as his stiletto pumps would let him, he hurried over to the bassinette. He was about to bless the baby when there was a puff of smoke followed by loud explosion. Evil Fairy Drag-queen Naraku, looking very miffed, appeared. He stormed over to the baby and cried, "For not inviting me, I curse the brat so that when she turns sixteen, she'll prick her finger on a spinning wheel spindle and…" he paused for dramatic effect, "DIE!!"

Queen Sango burst into tears and ran to her son. King Miroku was not far behind. Getting up into the evil fairy drag-queen's face, he waved an enveloped at him. "Well, if someone had informed the palace of his change in address this wouldn't have happened!"

The evil fairy drag-queen took the enveloped from him. It was marked "return to sender; forwarding address unknown." Naraku grinned sheepishly. "Oops…"

"Just undo the curse and we'll forget it ever happened," the king said.

"Sorry; no can do. It's against the fairy drag-queen code..."

"What?!" Prince Jakotsu's parents exclaimed.

Fairy Drag-queen Inuyasha palmed his face. "Let me see if I can fix it…" Waving his magic wand, he said, "When HE turns sixteen, instead of dying, he'll sleep for a hundred years or until his one true love awakens him with a kiss, whichever comes first. That's about all I can do… Fairy Drag-queen code number six-two-five clearly states that curses can only be altered; not removed. Sorry."

King Miroku declared every spinning wheel in the kingdom be destroyed while Evil Fairy Drag-Queen Naraku beat a hasty retreat out of there.

"Your Highnesses," Fairy Drag-queen Sesshomaru said.

"Yes…?" King Miroku said.

"We think it's best if we took the baby and raised her as one of us in the woods. Fairy Drag-queen Narie-pooh can be quite moody at times, and well, for lil darling's safety…"

"Nooo!" Queen Sango cried.

"Perhaps it's best if we do as they say…" And with a heavy heart, the king and queen said good-bye to their infant son with a promise from the fairy drag-queens to return him on his sixteenth birthday.

888

Nearly sixteen years had passed and Prince Jakotsu, or as he was known by his fairy drag-queen-in-training name, Bootylicious, grew into a fine young woman, err… man…

Traipsing through the forest one day, he spotted a red cloak and hat hung in the bushes. Giggling he went over to see if it was a real Mashpina cloak or just another cheap knockoff. Surprised to find it was the real thing, Bootylicious aka Prince Jakotsu squealed with delight. "SQUEE!! A real Mashpina!! I thought I'd never get my hands on one!!"

"Now that you have, can I have it back?"

Bootylicious squealed again, this time in fright. "EEEEEEP!!" he cried, and stepping back, he fell onto his rump.

"Are you alright, Miss? I'm sorry I scared you!" A handsome young man went to help him up.

Bootylicious aka Prince Jakotsu, nodded wordlessly. He was dumbstruck by the young man's good looks.

"So what's your name? I'm Pri…err… Bankotsu."

The prince, who looked and acted more like a princess, giggled. "I'm Bootylicious."

"What an unusual name? I like it as it suits you." Bankotsu flashed a dazzling smile.

"I'm a fairy drag-queen-in-training. When I grow up I'm going to open up my own boutique." He smiled sweetly.

"Awesomeness!!"

"Thanks…"

They stared at each other for several heartbeats as they promptly fell deeply and madly in love with each other.

Bootylicious sighed. Suddenly his eyes went wide. "I have to go!"

"Why?"

"My fairy drag-queen guardians told me not to talk to strangers!" Bootylicious ran off.

888

Meanwhile, his fairy drag-queen guardians were hard at work, making him a gown for his birthday party at the palace. After a vicious name-calling fight over what color it should be, it was decided that the princess, err… prince would wear lavender. Fairy Drag-queen Inuyasha, who acted as a lookout, called out, "Booty's here!"

"YAY!!" Fairy Drag-queen Sesshomaru cried. "I can't wait to show him the gown!"

"He's sooo going to love it!!" Fairy Drag-queen Kouga gushed.

"Love what?" Bootylicious said, entering their home.

"This!!" the fairy drag-queens cried as they showed off his gown.

"For me?" Bootylicious said softly, his eyes welling up with happy tears. "Thanks!!"

"Group huggles!!" Fairy Drag-queen Ginta said as they wrapped their arms around each other.

888

Bootylicious' birthday finally arrived. He woke up happy and eager to get into the beautiful gown his fairy drag-queen guardians made him so he could go to the palace. After several hours of hair and make-up, he was ready to go.

Everything went well from the trip to the palace to the birthday party itself. Even his parents did not seem to mind their son was a fairy drag-queen-in-training. Not even Evil Fairy Drag-queen Naraku's arrival with a collection of gay porn as a gift could spoil things.

Ten minutes before midnight, Prince Jakotsu was led off to bed by his fairy drag-queen guardians for the last time. Evil Fairy Drag-queen Naraku remained behind after Fairy Drag-queen Sesshomaru asked him to watch over the prince while he went to go tinkle. Smiling sweetly as he tenderly tucked the princess, err… prince into bed, the evil fairy drag-queen whipped out a spinning wheel spindle. "Want to be sure you'll have sweet dreams tonight, Princess Booty?"

"Yes, Evil Fairy Drag-queen Naraku!! Are you going to shower me with pixie dust?"

"Nah…" the evil fairy drag-queen purred. "All you have to do is touch my prick; I mean prick your finger on this spindle…"

"That's it?"

"Yeah…"

Prince Jakotsu reached out a finger and gingerly touched the spindle. "Ouccccch…" He fell back onto the bed, fast asleep.

"Good night, my sweetpea-ness." Evil fairy Drag-queen Naraku laughed, bringing the others running.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" they cried in horror.

"Too late, the lil darling is asleep…muhahahaha!!" He disappeared like a fart in the wind.

"I told you not to leave him alone with that moron!" Fairy Drag-queen Inuyasha fumed.

"But Narie-pooh said it would be okay if I went to go tinkle…" Fairy Drag-queen Sesshomaru whined.

Fairy Drag-queen Inuyasha heaved a long suffering sigh. "I'm surrounded by idiots…" he muttered under his breath. "Let's do damage control!" Whipping out his magic wand, he waved it and vines started growing up an over the castle to trap all the revelers inside. The other fairy drag-queens sprang into action, flying about, and covering everyone with pixie dust that sent them into a deep sleep.

888

Prince Bankotsu looked down at the directions to the ball and up at the vine covered castle before him. "This can't be the place, can it?"

His painted pony, Buyo, whinnied in reply.

"But look at this dump! How can anyone live here?"

Buyo snorted.

"Alright, alright, let's go see if we can find a way in. For all we know, you're right and they have a jungle theme for tonight's ball," the prince said as he urged his pony forward. Trotting around the castle, they came face to face with a large, fire-breathing dragon. "Oh crap!" Prince Bankotsu cried. "Let's make like a like hockey stick and get the puck out of here!"

Buyo whinnied, and rearing up on his fat little legs, he tried to pull off a move that would make Lipizzaner stallion proud, to no avail. The dragon narrowly missed frying them to a crisp, and eating them. Just when things looked like they could not get any worse, Fairy Drag-queen Inuyasha arrived.

"There you are!" he cried. "Go wake Prince Jakotsu while I take care of this."

"Don't have to tell me twice! Uh, where's the prince and how do I wake him?"

"Corner tower and you kiss him! Now go!!"

"What?!"

"You heard me! Go!!"

Prince Bankotsu, urging his noble steed on, peered over his shoulder in time to see the fairy drag-queen turn the dragon into a cute little bunny. Chuckling, he raced to the corner tower. Fairy Drag-queen Kouga was waiting for him. Slipping through an opening in the vines he led Prince Bankotsu up the tower stairs.

Out of breath at the top of the stairs, he let Fairy Drag-queen Sesshomaru drag him into the room. "Go ahead and kiss him like you mean it!" he exclaimed as he shoved the prince towards the pink canopy bed.

"It's Bootylicious!" Bankotsu cried when he saw the sleeping prince.

"Yeah, now kiss him like you mean it."

Grinning cockily as the fairy drag-queen squealed with delight, Prince Bankotsu leaned over and kissed the sleeping Bootylicious.

Eyes daintily fluttering open, Prince Jakotsu yawned softly. They widen in surprise and he threw his arms around Bankotsu. "It's you!! I was hoping you'd come-" the rest of his words swallowed up in another kiss.

"Wanna nookie, hunh?" Prince Bankotsu said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Prince Jakotsu, aka Bootylicious, sat up, and pouting at Fairy Drag-queen Sesshomaru, he delicately cleared his throat.

"What?!" the fairy drag-queen whined.

The two princes stared pointedly at him.

"Whatever!" Waving his magic wand, he disappeared in puff of fairy dust.

Giggling like a fairy drag-queen-in-training, Prince Jakotsu kissed him long and hard, and it wasn't long before they were nookying… err… living happily ever after…

THE END.


End file.
